The thing is I've seen you try the same thing over and over...
you go on a bender, you stop, you go ok for a while, you stop posting here,and then you think that a night out or few drinks won't hurt....
It's a really vicious cycle, R.
You're not a failure - you keep trying....
but it's a 100% certainty, for any of us, that if we keep doing the same things, we'll get the same results.
D