2 nights no booze, done..
...this is the first time I've managed this all year. The thing is I feel beyond awful/horrible/aching & depressed. I had such a hard time last night (& I feel guilty since its only a short time) I don't know how I can keep this up, I wish I could see some small light at the end of the tunnel?? I am just angry/irritable and I can't settle until I'm asleep. I can't read (which I love doing) because I can't concentrate on more than a few paragraphs. I bit my nails down to places that I never do! I am just sick of feeling so anxious already. I am sorry to vent this all.
So, I swore last night that I wouldn't do this again today. Now I'm awake of course it's different, I'm not sure I can do it though. I feel weak, then guilty because I have my boys I need to be here for and I get those Q's to myself like 'well, even your kids aren't enough to get & keep you sober?' so the guilt is enormous (if you couldn't tell I've always been told that I am always 'hard on myself' & 'can't take compliments' etc)
My husband says I should be proud of 2 days, I just feel ashamed that it's so hard and I am hard to be around. It shows the hold this has over me.
Rant over, I'm so glad I can come here to read/post so thankyou.