I feel you. My husband has never been "much" of a drinker; he never had cans of beer around. He was a social drinker, and a hider; he'd have a bottle of wine that he stole money from me to get ("Oh, honey, do you anything from the store? I'll go so you don't have to drive.") that he halfway hid in the shed out back. And he never staggered nor got visibly drunk. I knew he was intoxicated, but it was mostly an annoyance.
And all his friends gave him hell about seeking treatment, because they insisted he didn't have a problem (mostly because if he did, they did... they're round-the-clock beer drinker types)