I want to thank everybody for the kind, and less-than-kind replies. It has helped me tremendously, every one. It's actually amazing just how much better one can feel when others understand.
But I still have a few more questions, and probably a ton more garbage before I get this all out, and I know y'all can point me in the right direction.
Originally Posted by
DesertEyes 
Sounds to me like you already have a justification for failing all set up and ready to go.
On this note, I have never done anything right the first time, in my entire life, so while I may fail, I am setting myself up for forgiveness, and I'm OK with that.
I just know that somehow, some day, she will find a way to communicate with me, some night after I've been out for a few beers with friends and I'll take the bait. Whether it's a suicide threat, a story of how badly he BF treats her or a funny web-comic. I'm hard enough on myself already. I'm giving myself an out.
Originally Posted by
DesertEyes If you are like me, then I would say you are still living in your fantasy. There is no contact to break. There never was any contact. You can just pretend to dial the number and pretend you are talking to somebody, you'll get the same amount of _real relationship_ in return.
I am still living in my fantasy, but you got this one wrong too. I don't want any sort of relationship with her, but having given this a lot of thought, it's become obvious I still believe I can "help her"
That's that fantasy I can't let go of.
So, on this point, I have a Q:
Is it good or bad to explain to the person you're cutting contact with, why?
I believe it would have marginal effect on her, or simply give her ammo to try and leverage against me later, but if I "seal all the gates" of communication, this would be very therapeutic for me.
I would like to get it all off my chest. And say goodbye.
Is this recommended or not recommended?