Lots of good info above, my situation is pretty similar. I travel for work alot, so I have trouble with being a single dad, I guess I thought it wasn't as bad as it really was for awhile, she's their mom, wouldn't hurt them would she? Well, wrong again, last day of school, she picked them up drunk, no one noticed, came home & passed out. I called her folks who showed up to find her this way. Took away the keys for awhile to get her sober, wash, rinse, repeat.
Finally thought I got smart & put a interlock on her vehicle, it works, trouble is she left & went to her parents house, drank like a fish, stole wine from her dad, like 7 bottles plus what she bought on the way there, stocked up pretty well apparently because there were quite a few empties hiding in her van. In rehab for 45 days, struggling & scared, but sanity has been restored to the household and the boys & I are getting along great.
I know what I'm going to do when she gets out, we're going to have our family schedule, she can choose to take part in the family activities when she's not going to AA and other recovery meetings and if she falls off the wagon, we'll follow the agreements we make during family week. I'm still getting my ducks in a row for that, but she's not going to be drinking around the boys anymore. It's hard I know because she's their mom for cryin out loud, but when she's drinking, it's like she's the opposite of a mom.
I wish you the best of luck and I feel your pain.
God Bless,
B