w2r,
BTW, I dated many women over my last 14 years of abstinence and what I refer to as sobriety. (Sober to me is staying "right sized" in my outlook on life and continuing to chase humility and a quality life). That aside I wanted to let you know that with very few exceptions these women drank, some wine, some beer and several hard alcohol.
Last year I married one of them, (wife #3) so obviously alcohol isn't my only challenge, but wife #3 drinks wine in respectable quantities at times. I learned over these years that I should give these ladies the latitude in our relationship to conduct their alcohol intake as they see fit and I continue to work on my issues.
One tip that I have used a couple of times when the new wife seems to be imbibing what I think is perhaps a wee too much. I HAVE COMMENTED ON THE AMOUNT OF CALORIES IN WINE. This seems to cause her to moderate!
Just me experience.
Jon