The fact that you went back home when nothing had changed is evidence that you HAVE been sucked back in. If you're true concern is for your kids, then you would get them out of there instead of joining back in the circus. Or get your wife out of the home. But to keep the kids there, and keep her there, because she helps with domestic chores and it would be harder for you on your own???? Seriously? You have 2 kids who are old enough to help out with chores, etc. You could form a healthy family team if you wanted. Your kids are exposed to this behavior every day. Read over in the adult children of A's forum, get a feel for what your kids will deal with in adulthood.
Time to face this head on without excuses. There are solutions if you're willing to do the work. Your kids deserve no less.