First things first.
Well, glad you are here and putting the kids first.
I have three kids all under ten years of age.
If my wife started drinking again - she's been sober for a while now - I'd have to ask her to do one of two things:
A) go to treatment and meetings and get sober and stay sober or
B) leave until she was ready to do (A)
When the pipes break, I call a plumber; when the car breaks down, I call a mechanic. When my relationships break, I call my therapist for an appointment
I think it is my duty as a father to love my kids more than my wife, more than my life.
I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family.