simple summary - married 20 years, 4 kids.
wife never drunk then, 3/4 years ago in her early 30's she went at it like she was making up for lost time!
jump forward to this summer and I (and my kids) have been through it all....4 detox's (££££££), more vomit than I knew was possible, drunken kisses with other men.
I left the family home in April hoping she would get "better" - she did for a bit but always goes back to it.
A couple of weeks ago we went on a family holiday - she drank the whole time (i was clearing up sick at 3am one night)......when we got back I realised I have to be back home for my kids (7,10,13, 17) so I moved back.
She agreed because (when not drunk) she'd love us all to be together.....I'd love that too but really I just see my kids lives being ruined (17 year old wont talk to her at all)
So now I have this situation where we are "trying" to get on and get things back on track......which is summed up by me working my butt off while she does 10 large cans of Bud a day. She knows that mad, she hates the negative affects it has on her but, in her words - "right now i just dont care enough to stop...i dont know why....i just dont....so stop bugging me"
I've read all the co-dependant books and there is no way I will go back to getting sucked into her problems like I was.......but I just feel like "what am I doing"!!!
My hope is that one day she will just think "time to stop"......she says she could stop tomoorow, she just doesnt want to......but why would she stop? she has money, I drive the kids in the evening so she never has to drink drive.....she functions ok enough that all her friends just think she likes a drink.
I'm stuck! I cant leave my kids with a drunk.......I cant stand living with someone I love who is wasted by 4pm (although you cant tell....her tolerance is through the roof......she can do 10 cans and appear fine - which helps her hide it)
Do I just wait till the youngest is old enough to cope...then bail out? might she wake up one day and quit? do i live in the mean time like i am trying (and enable her) or live like i am not happy about it (and annoy her)
It's horrific, but the best thing right now is if she had something horrible hapen to her - drink related illness, crash the car....something to shock her.
she is off on a 4 day holiday with her girlfriends next week......i hope she vomits over them like she did on our holiday.....might make her (and them) see whats really going on.
And why do her friends bother me!!!! when i take the kids to school i feel like they are all looking at me thinking - theres that rubbish husband that left his wife....i just want to shout and them "shes a bloody drunk" !!!!
