Originally Posted by
rochele 
Yoctopus, I can identify with feeling the need for someone else to be happy. I attached myself to strongly in that way in two of my younger relationships. It was only after a period of time alone, that I really felt free and happy. I realized I could be happy alone. It was a very good thing. Sometimes, as a mother, and with stress, I wish I could go back to that lovely little apartment. It was so tidy, and just me and my cat, who adored me.
I think you are doing good work on yourself, going to therapy and looking for happiness within yourself.
Very poetic rochele
I have decided that if it doesn't work out with my F I will take an undetermined time to be on my own, no dating, no sex, just working on myself, exploring who I am. I have pretty much jumped into one relationship after another since turning 18. I am scared of myself-scared to be alone-scared to die alone. I over think things. I know that I need to be happy with myself before I can ever be a good partner. I'm hopeful this is something I can work on in the context of my current relationship, but if not, I am determined to do things the right way. Thanks for the helpful words. You guys are all great and I applaud everyone that is struggling through beating this addiction. September has been a pretty darn good month.