asimplelife---what I do know for sure (from my own very painful experience) is that the alcoholic will do all sorts of "blame-shifting" and projection of their own feelings onto us. The main goal is to keep the light off of them and their drinking by placing it on us--thus denying their problem and the responsibility that goes with it.
they are usually amazingly good at this technique!! They know exactly where our hot buttons and our sensitive areas are. This is often excruciatingly painful for us--and throws us off balance. That is the goal--to throw us off-balance (thereby, protecting themselves).
I don't think their goal is to tell the truth--the goal is to hurt (blame) and distract.
Personally, I don't believe anything that comes out of a drunk alcoholic's mouth.
As you read through this forum, you will see how very common this is!!
I am so sorry you are going through this.
dandylion