I have kicked my AH out of the house before. I was pregnant with my second child. My daughter was 4 years old. She missed him, but life went on. She eventually stopped crying about it. She saw him on no particular schedule and knew there was something wrong with him. Kids can tell when adults are not acting correctly. Especially when they have regular functioning adults in there life. This lasted for 8 months. Then he went to jail for 4 months (he had very little contact.. maybe two phone calls) He came home for about 3 weeks after jail and it was decided he went away to Oklahoma. He was able to talk to her on the phone everyday during this time. This lasted for about a year. He was absent the whole first year our son existed.
He has been gone a long time out of my kids life.. and you know what??? They adapted. They are ok. I brought my daughter to counseling and the counselor felt that she was a happy normal kid. She was more worried about her brother being a pain in the but than anything else!!
He did come home for a period for 2 years. He relapsed twice. We have tried to work through it with counseling and medication. It hasn't worked. He's in jail again and will be going to a 14 month faith based program. I hope it works for him. My kids miss him... but they are going to be okay. They are not in a toxic enviornment. They worry about school, friends, cartoon and begging me for more pets. The kids will be fine!! I promise. From someone who has been there. Good luck!