Originally Posted by NewLeaf

Well then ... imho... you're lucky. Lucky you (and others) are still alive today.

I stand by what I said: You're still on the right path, regardless of your reasons for doing this. And... you're using/trying lots of tools. Most importantly, this is your second (or third) chance to find true happiness...to be content without relying on any other "substance" other than life itself. It's not all roses, but there's sure enough good in it. Believe in yourself, abwvu1, and focus on your gifts and your potential rather than on what might feel like an imposed sentence.

I think most of the work we need to do most is in our heads. No one wants to give up his/her liquid "reward," "comfort," or admit that it's harmful to us or anyone else. I still see a therapist even though I've identified and dealt with a good many issues, because I'll always have more.

This is a journey, and I'm so glad you're on it too.