Rochele - well said and much appreciated. I agree with your analysis on the drinking. I'm sure she would say that she isn't the one with the problem so why should she suffer. She stopped drinking the first 2 or 3 days and then went right back. The truth is, she might drink too much, but she doesn't behave the same way I do.
The other piece of advice I see everywhere that I am trying hard to follow is that I need to focus on myself and not her. So if she has a drinking problem that is her issue - I am telling myself. I know I need to make a list of things I do and don't like about our relationship. I have made her into some perfect being that I couldn't live without, but we all know that isn't true. Our relationship is far from perfect.
As a one time divorcee already, I definetely don't plan to move forward with marriage until our issues are straight. It isn't looking good, that's why I'm trying to wrap my mind around weather 18 days is long or short in terms of forgivenss? For full disclosure, I was violent when we had our last drunken fight. I know this is wrong. I am sad and sorry that I did this. I ask everyone for forgiveness that I have done this. It is inexcusable. I have always been the person who says men who are violent are weak and ignorant. Argh, so much to work on for myself, I shouldn't even begin to think about how I can be in a healthy relationship with others. OK, that's my rant for the morning. Thanks all!
