Lielakie

I broke up with him two days ago, because he has just been acting like such a selfish scumbag.

We'd been together for about 4 months. I am 28 and he is 37. I really need advice, because I am so hurt and sad about ending it with him, but I know it's for the best.

I broke up with him because of what happened after I went to Germany on holiday for ten days. We were in constant contact the entire time and I bought him nice presents. The day before my flight back, he asked if he was going to see me the next day. We organised to meet at his place the next evening.

But then he said he might go for a few beers with his mates and I was welcome to come. I thought that was a bit rude, since we hadn't seen each other in a while.

The next evening, he texted me and said he was at a friend's house having some beers. He said I should give him a 20 min heads up before I left so he could go home and meet me.

I gave him the heads up and left my home, jet lagged and driving in the dark, to see him. I then got a text saying he was on his first double brandy and could I give him 30 min.

I was shocked. I called him and could hear he was completely wasted. I asked him how many beers he'd had and he said he had about five pints. He was completely out of it and couldn't have a proper conversation with me. I was so disappointed. I hung up and drove back home crying. He sent me a text saying he's confused and I should calm down.

I did not want to go to his house with him so drunk, because his entire personality changes. He becomes aggressive and he's been violent on two occasions where he didn't even remember the next morning.

The next day I didn't hear from him at all. Usually he apologises and we move on, but this time - nothing. The next morning at 4 am I got a text from him saying he was in a car accident the previous morning and that's why I didn't hear from him.

He had written off his rental car in the accident, but won't go into details. I am convinced he was still drunk the next morning when he drove.

He drinks a lot. He is an honorary member at two pubs and his beer is ready for him when he walks through the door. When he drinks it's not two or three draughts. It's six or seven. It's been up to 20 beers in one night and his eyes change and he becomes extremely disrespectful and critical.

I saw my therapist yesterday, and she says it's very clear that he is an alcoholic. She says none of this is my fault and that he will destroy me if I stay with him.

I please just need some advice and perspective. He was so good to me in the beginning, but he became more selfish, distant and violent. I hate feeling so hurt and rejected right now.

I suppose my question is, did he choose alcohol over me that night? Is it because I tolerated his bad behaviour that he thinks it's okay to treat me like this?

Please help.