Hi Suncatcher,
Yes, I have been going through what you described and it's been nine months since I broke up with my xabf. For the most part I am relieved the chaos is no longer a part of my life but I still miss him sometimes. He and I had so much in common--more than I've ever had with anyone else--that I think I might actually miss him forever. I know though that a relationship with him is impossible and am increasingly at peace with the loss of him. I try to just think of it like he died. I know that sounds horrible but it is the only way I can really wrap my head around the different emotions I feel about him.