Dear Jessica---something you said caught my eye---You said that your big challenge would be not to "mother or doctor him". This is so often the case with co-dependents (especially, us women). I suggest that this should be a red flag for YOU to work on with the help of alanon. Think about it--no grown adult person should need to be mothered or doctored by someone else. Part of independence and maturity is that we be able to take care of ourselves.
Old habits die hard, though---maybe you should wear a rubber band around your wrist for this one...(LOL). Alcoholics, if they started drinking early, often are very immature in their emotional development--and this will become blatantly apparent in the early recovery period when they don't have the alcohol to help them "cope". While they will be as demanding as a teenager (or toddler)---they will resent you later and turn all blame onto you. Don't take their bait!!!!!!!!!! That is what they have their AA group and sponsor and counselor for.
I know that we have all thought, perhaps thousands of times "If he/she would just stop drinking--everything would be o.k." Getting sober is a necessary first step---but, unfortunately, we discover that alcoholism provides a perfect petri dish for lots of other destructive behaviors.
I think that if we keep this in mind--we can roll with the punches of early recovery a little better.
dandylion