I know its sort of different, but when you are talking about him being away for a year and half, think about all of the military families that are without someone for at least a good year. I know its different but to kids the being away part probably isnt a lot different. Kids whose parents are off in a war zone if they understand they must have fears to deal with everyday too, and sometimes in the end there is loss. Im not sure my point, except your not crazy I dont think for wanting to support him, stay married, and see how it all goes down in the next year if he is trying to get better from his past, the drugs. You can get through it, your kids can adapt, and somehow you will make it ok for them.