Originally Posted by
Suz08 
Bluechair-We have two cats and a dog as well. I can tell they miss him. Thank you very much for the reading suggestions! Reading is one of my favorite hobbies. I find it strangely comforting to be able to research and read up on addictions.
I have been wanting him to be well for a long time I couldn't understand why I wouldn't be more ecstatic. We concluded that I am questioning why I wasn't good enough or enough, feelings of anger over my own guilt in events that occurred when we separated (I ruminate and wonder if my actions were different would he have sought recovery sooner?) and lastly anger that the opportunity to be a supportive wife was taken from me by meth.
I like the way you phrased it "strangely comforting" because that is how I feel too. Some of my friends cant understand why Im reading so much about it but I just have this "need" right now. Animals are really sensitive I think, they know when we are emotional, and they love you know unconditionally, so they dont understand a meth addiction. Lucky them. Im sure they are bringing you a lot of comfort though, I know my guys do.
What your therapist said makes a lot of sense as to your feelings now. Maybe you cant be the supportive wife, but its obvious you still care, so maybe you can be a supportive friend for now. He must feel that way or he wouldn't have called to tell you in the first place.