Thank you for the welcome. How do I join the September class? I do not have much of a plan to be honest. I stopped smoking 10 years ago and I had to find other things to do during the times I'd usually smoke so I took up walking. I aspire to run a half marathon so I thought now would be a good time to work toward that goal. Perhaps my new routine would be to put my kids to bed and go running. I also am planning on getting anti depressants to help with the depression I am having and to prepare for the plummet in serotonin. I have an appointment for that on Wednesday. I am a conceptual photographer/artist but have not been creating photographs recently. I think since its something I love doing and naturally good at, I should start taking photos again. I am quite spiritual and religious as well yet I have withdrawn so much that I haven't participated in activities. A new women's bible group starts today and I thought I might join. Maybe if I immerse myself in meaningful activities that I enjoy while working toward a goal I have dreamt of doing for years and find support here, maybe I can do this. I don't know. I feel so lost. I developed a serious drinking problem after my 2nd child was born but I nipped it in the bud pretty quick. Well, quickly for an alcoholic (which I know that I am). I drank heavily for maybe a year or just less than and then I joined AA. I quit of course but I never fit in there. And my 30 day chip turned into 60 and then I think 6 months. I don't remember but eventually I started missing a night and then two and then I quit going. I still didnt drink though. I did pretty good for quite awhile. And then some devastating news sent me on a liquor run and its been downhill since. My husband is amazing. He has protected my children from seeing me intoxicated when one has woke up for whatever reason. He wakes up wet because if I drink too much I pee. He puts me in the shower, brings me clean clothes, puts me into a clean bed and goes back to sleep with me. He never sleeps anywhere else but beside me knowing the risks. Our bed does however have a waterproof protector. How humiliating is that. He doesn't enable me purposely if that's what you're thinking. He is protecting our children and he loves me beyond measure. I owe my family a sober wife and mom. My mom is 6 feet under because she was an alcoholic. I have to beat this.
How's that for a novel
