Originally Posted by
zane949 
I have 14 months sober and want to drink again...I am sick of AA I have worked the steps to the best of my ability and don't feel much different want to try some controlled drinking...any advice?
When I quit drinking two months ago I waited till my cravings were really really bad. Once they were really bad I simply closed my eyes and had a dialouge with the "part" of me that controlled my behaviour of drinking.
It was kind of like a meditative state. When I "connected" with the part of me that wanted me to drink I imagined as if this part floated down to my right hand. I could see this part sitting in my hand. If I remember correctly it was shaped like a ball of a dark grey "misty color". It had the texture of something like that green goo we play with when we are kids.
I then asked this "part" - What do you want for me? This is when it told me that it wanted to feel connection.
I knew what had to be done. I had to start doing activities that would allow me to feel this connection stronger than alcohol ever could.
Now my gf and I are doing much more hikes out here on Kauai. I'm also doing more speaking gigs out here.
Don't fret, it gets better!
Aloha,
Antonio