I'm sick of my A trying to manipulate nad control me. I think he feels better if he can control me because the rest of his life is so out of control.
Sometimes I think it's easier to let him think he's winning. As long as I stay centered then I don't have to participate in his chaos.
It's hard because I always used to question myself but since I found alanon I have learned to trust my instincts.
The healthier I get, the more my ah tries to control me, the more unappealing I seem to find him. It used to be that I would get angrier and angrier, say things I didn't mean and wind up apologizing to him. I will never know how he did that. I can just be thankful that today, I don't have to buy into it because I believe in myself and my higher power.
I think I'm getting better because I often find myself wondering what it would be like to go thru life with someone who thought along the same spiritual lines as I do where before I spent an awful lot of time trying to figure out how to get my ah to see my point of view.
HH