ACH,
You will hear much about AA here and other places. Good and bad. Much of it by people who know little about it.
In my case, it is the one thing I can count on in life. An approach to living, a place to go where I am ALWAYS welcome and understood, even when (as now) I am traveling.
My first time through AA I made an mistake in thinking it was about not drinking. So, I did that. Until I began drinking again. Hah!
Now I realize that my drinking was really about being spiritually f'ed up, leading to massive character defects. Why else would this man do what I did to myself and my beloved family? The 12 steps help us figure out why good people do really, really bad things.
From what little you wrote, you appear to be in a death spiral like so many of us. It CAN be avoided. I hope you choose life...
Finding joy in the moment,
warren