Great Thread
Thank you for posting it, Raider.
Some of this is a repeat of what I'd posted on the September Class thread, but most isn't... so I apologize to those who've already heard it.
My husband knows I want to be a non-drinker. He's seen me struggle on and off through the years with alcohol abuse. He's seen the worst of my binges, and he's seen me successful with moderating after a couple years of therapy helped settle some deep seated issues.
I've asked him time and time again to go on the wagon with me for support. He goes about three days or so and then picks right back up again. He doesn't ever ask if I want a drink, but he'll buy stuff he knows I like (because he likes it, too), and it's always around. A lot of it.
We have four grown children... only one is under 21. Another is an athlete one rarely drinks, one just got hired as a specialty cocktail "mixologist" at a high end bar/restaurant, and another aspires to become a Brew Master. The last two live nearby and visit frequently. More beer and drinks galore.
My husband and I grew up in a family of drinkers, too. 5pm was cocktail hour. Every family meal, vacation, event includes alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I could have become and remained sober back in 2006 or 7 if my husband had quit with me, but it didn't happen and it isn't going to. At least, it may not. I'm hoping that at the very least, he someday sees how wonderful life without drinking can be... through me.
The first couple of times I stopped for months at a time, we'd inevitably start arguing about it with me in tears. He just didn't get it and still doesn't. Like Rochele thinks of her husband, I suspect mine may have a drinking problem, and I do think he misses his drinking buddy when I'm not drinking with him. But who am I to judge? All I know is that I'm tired
I can only worry about myself right now. I have my good days and bad days. Sometimes it doesn't bother me to be around people drinking, sometimes I'm resentful, sometimes I get irritable, and sometimes I'm thanking God I'm not smelly or sloppy like everyone else!
On the bad days, I simply need to use the tools I know help me find my equilibrium. Journaling, guided meditation, taking a walk, going into another room to read or watch an old movie, plugging in my headphones (LOVE music), taking a shower, or coming here. Sometimes I'm not in the mood to post, so I just read.
Anyway... Everyone's relationships are different. I love my husband, I love my kids, life's not perfect, and booze will always be a part of it.
Sorry this ended up being so long, but it helped me to write it all out. Again, Raider, thanks for posting.