Originally Posted by
afla 
What was it that made you (still makes you?) desire drinking or want to go back to drinking each time? Why did you start drinking more? What did it give you that you found hard to give up?
Then, for those who have managed long term recovery, what worked for you to get out of that? What attitude changed, or perspective? Did you change your lifestyle to cope with it? How did you get over the desire so you didn't want to drink anymore? (I've seen a comment on here about, after long-term recovery, no longer wanting to drink).
Thank you!
My drinking problem developed over time and didn't really start until my late 20's to early 30's. While I believe there's certainly a physical component to why I drank, that alone doesn't explain why after a period away from booze I'd go back to it, especially with a very painful and checkered past re. drinking.
Going back to it suggests a mental component as well as the physical. Physically I'm different in that once I start, MY body and MY mind want more. Mental in that once I stop....sooner or later I rationalize a reason to start again. Non-alcoholics don't do this. While it may not make sense, that's what happens.
I also believe there's a third component for an alcoholic (not all..... naysayers relax. lol) that's spiritual in nature. When my spiritual life is in order and I'm focused on others rather than myself......my life usually goes pretty darn well. No big ups to "celebrate" and no big downs to drown out. Life becomes....... smooth.
For question #2, everything changed. Thankfully, I didn't have to figure it all out and make the changes. Many of them just came over time. Being sober 6 year for me is the result of being an active member in AA and continually working the program in my life.