Toomuch,
you can't explain why you want to try this again....you've said this two or three times.
could it be that's because there is no rational explanation, since in your own wordes yo KNOW you're an alcoholic?
do you?
i'm not being sarcastic. do you KNOW? cause if you do, i can't see how you'd think you could moderate now.
having someone else make the decision whether you "can/get to" drinmk today or tomorrow or how much......whatever your relationship has been so far i don't know, but this adds a huge element of unequal power. skews anything that might have been basically equal. turns him into parent or jailer or teacher or boss or....you name it.whjich leaves you in the role of....?
the control over whether you drink or not belongs with you. if/since you don't seem to have it, "giving it" to someone else won't help you get it.
i remember well the place of being unable to let go of drinking. anything to be able to have it continue. anything! just as long as it wasn't going to mean not getting drunk ever again.
horrid place.