firstymer

At Day 12, facing a second weekend in a row without alcohol (and my longest period of sobriety in 20+ years), I am again debating with myself why I have to keep this up. Like most of us in early recovery, I seem to be almost constantly engaged in this silent dialogue with myself.

In addition to the inspiration gained from all of you here at SR, I had the following epiphany today: Imagine that we are told that we have an incurable disease - say, cancer - and that we would inevitably die from this disease. Maybe next month. Maybe next year. Maybe in 5 years. But the disease will almost certainly result in a painful death. The weight of this burden would be crushing.

Now imagine receiving a phone call that a cure for this terminal disease had been found. That the cure is immediate, costs nothing and is guaranteed to work. Who among us wouldn't drop to our knees in gratitude at learning of the cure? Who among us wouldn't take that cure?

For me, alcoholism is a disease that is going to kill me just as surely as any cancer diagnosis. And in many ways, this slow death is equally painful.

I consider my recent sobriety, and my discovery of SR, to be the equivalent of receiving news that my incurable, terminal disease can be reversed. Starting today. And that not only will I not die a slow, painful death - my remaining years will be happier than any other time of my life.

I am thankful for having finally heard this life-saving news. I hope I am strong enough to continue on this path of health and happiness.