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Old 09-06-2013, 09:06 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
EndGameNYC
EndGame
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Never even occurred to me to moderate my drinking. That's not how I drink.

When my ex-GF and I moved in together at the beginning of my three-year relapse, she tried to moderate my drinking after a few months, after threatening, pleading and indifference didn't work. My only thought was, "Great! Now I've got permission to drink!" Meaning that I could drink all I wanted to when she wasn't around, or drink from my secret stash when we were home together. My smelling like alcohol was no longer an issue, since the few drinks she'd "allow" me were perfect camouflage for the quart of drinking I did in secret. She's one of those people who can have a couple of drinks at night after work, and then just walk away from it.

And I took it even further. Each night on my way home from work, which was usually fairly late at night, I stopped for pizza and a beer, which also covered the pint or so of vodka I drank on my way home. So, when she greeted me with a watered-down drink of vodka and something else like ginger ale, it seemed normal that I would smell like alcohol. When she went to bed, I'd finish off the rest of my vodka, which usually meant a liter or more before I passed out.

Having a strong tolerance for alcohol also helped to cover how much I was drinking. Of course, eventually, all the walls came falling down.
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