Sick, tired, foolish, awful .... Still/again
Been a really rough day. I've been drinking since the breakup heavily. My skin is awful, splotchy, red marks, stretch marks, cellulite. My thighs and belly are fatter than ever, my whole body is soft. I ache. I am slowly dying and I'm only 27.
I've been drunk dialing friends and even my dad and my exes and barely remembering.
I'm dog sitting for four friends and I drank all three bottles (which were half filled) of theirs in three days.
My withdrawals were so bad this morning that I almost called am ambulance. I've been to the hospital once before but even with insurance it was $3000 for a three day stay. Without insurance, $16,000. I can't. ..
Doing better now, but. .... sigh.
Calling around now to see about getting assistance with a detox. I try to wean or taper down and I fail every time. I feel suicidal at times. I know my roommate is catching on to my sneak drinking.
I give up and admit I need help before I hurt myself or someone else by stupidity.