Originally Posted by
FireSprite 
I think you already see the handwriting on the wall, honestly. You sound very smart & aware.
I'm never "that" poster here on the board, but today I will be:
Run. Run far & wide & get out of this relationship at your very first opportunity. Leave before you are tempted to consider having children with someone like this. It will not be easy, and it will get harder as time goes on.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease and what you are seeing right now is the VERY BEST it will EVER BE until or unless he chooses to get sober for himself. Not for you, not because he's forced to, not for any reason except that he is ready & willing to take the steps to lead a sober life.
Judging from your description, I would guess he's miles from making this leap of faith, but that doesn't mean that you have to be dragged down with him until (or if ever) he does.
I know that's not what you are here asking in your title and I'm sorry if it comes off harsh... it is literally my first reaction to reading your post.
I wanted replies to my other ones too, figured that would save me the trouble of having multiple topics in one.
I'm very aware of what I have gotten myself into. I know its not a good situation. I'm also one of those people that will try everything and exhaust all of my resources so I can say that I DID try. I've told him that he needs to go to AA weekly and if he wants to be with me he cant be having even 1 beer. I also told him he needs to be doing all of this for HIM not for me. I did find out that my work has EAP and I'm thinking about going to a counselor to talk about this.
It honestly doesnt help that I am bipolar. It's not a serious problem but I just flip flop between beind blind to the facts and loving him to realizing the bigger problem and having no feelings what so ever for him.