Hi, Noraa. Welcome to SR. I don't have anything wise to say myself regarding your question but I'm sure there are many others here who can help you figure it out.
In the meantime, maybe you'd like to read this thread to see if any of it is useful for you?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-enabling.html
Hope you find support and learn a lot while here--and you can go ahead and post your story here, too; it doesn't have to go in the newcomer's forum, especially if you plan to mostly be active here in Friends and Family.