After 30 years of mostly contented sobriety, but the last 10 of those years not going to meetings, I also had the brilliant thought, "it's been 30 years, I can handle it now."
I've been drinking a year and a half, and it's gradually getting more and more out of control. A few weeks ago, my husband told me I got mean with him, and I don't remember any of it.
I'm looking for outside support like I've found on here, and may even consider going back to meetings again. Like I said before, I want my sober life back. I think you've come to the right place, too.