Lookin, so many of us come on this site and "don't understand why." What we don't see (or can't or won't, in some situations) is that our lives, our problems, all follow the same pattern--it's the pattern of alcoholism.
Read the stickied threads at the top of the page. Read other threads here. Read the suggested books. Educate and inform yourself. Get to Alanon.
I believe that anyone who does those things will at least begin to understand. Everyone makes his/her own choice, but an informed choice is better than one made in ignorance or denial, IMHO.
We are all dealing with alcoholics, and they all do the same things. The only difference is the timeline regarding how long we put our own lives on hold, hoping for some miracle to happen, holding some romantic view of our A.