No-Fault Disease
Addiction seem like total raw deal. Is like a life sentence and you no really even do anything wrong. I been serving almost 40 year. Hard time. Maybe not Shawshank hard, but Brubaker hard. Some days is tolerable. Some days, like today, feel like getting shanked by a chicken hawk in the big yard. Is lot of solitary confinement.
I fall into addiction as coping mechanism when only 8 or 9 year old, and it spiral and take on life of its own. Correction: It take on my life. It take over my life. Some would say that it now prison of my own choosing. Perhaps. Maybe at some point along way, as I grow up, it become my ‘fault’ to continue and I become to blame for miserable shambles of my life. Doesn’t matter either way, because either way, it is become my responsibility.
Sorry, just whining little bit for myself. Okay, whining a lot. Because now I has to summon some freak Herculean strength of resolve within myself to break out this prison. And I not superhero. I not even hero. I actual kind of pipsqueak to tell truth. But I want at least little bit of my life to be more than 'tolerable', so, has to keep at it. ...anybody got pie with file in it?