We are not disappointed in you, Cow. We get this, more than you know. Been there, done that and got the t-shirt.
Glad you continue to post and be honest, mostly with yourself. That is most important in beginning recovery.
I agree that you may need to avoid trigger situations. Just for now. Stay out of those places where you fear you will lose control. You are too vulnerable right now. Not your fault. Just addiction, plain and simple.
If all you get done for the next couple days, weeks, whatever is "sloth around", that's ok. Give yourself permission to sloth. You've got a bigger project to work on...yourself and your sobriety. All of this is temporary, and it will get better.
xo