I am so happy that I know I am not alone but I just can not handle sitting here so helpless. I need to be able to do something to save him and to save myself as well as saving the relationship.
When will it all end and I will have my loving partner back?
I can not fathom being without him, and his son who is already family to me.
I have history with depression so I understand that side of it but the hold that alcohol has on him is so scary and unknown to me. He becomes a whole other person that I do not love. But then the real him comes back and we wade through all the crap together, talk things out, I forgive the lies and the hurtful things he says and does. And I fall in love with him all over again.
This is not a monthly turn over, or a weekly turn over. It has become nearly every day that my heart is ripped apart, and then put back together the next.
