Hiya Cow! Did the coffee lead to wine today, or were you able to put on the brakes before you got to the wine? I hope this was the case...that's a success in and of itself. Trader Joe's had the tendency to trigger me, so I avoided it in early days. I loved (and still do love) Farmers Markets, and they don't typically have alcohol for sale anywhere, so I feel safe and happy there. Besides, there is all if that beautiful fresh produce.
Just try to remember to cut yourself some slack Cow...this is very difficult stuff, and many prayers are being said for you. People care, including me. I always come check this thread first thing after I sign in. I love seeing that raspberry text!
Since you're such a good artist (Love the witches feet...My favorite movie of all time) you should try this sometime. Create a drawing/painting featuring your alcoholic voice, in whatever form you choose. Make him/her as horrible and creepy and mean as you can. Place your beloved little cow in AV's clutches, in danger. Now use it to focus some of your rage and fear on. Make copies and find new and different ways to destroy them...fire, ripping to shreds, flushing down toilet. It's just a visualization exercise, but it can be powerful.
Hope to keep hearing from you. Take extra good care of yourself Cow. Talk with you soon.