Along,
I typed a long reply to you last night...then my pc freezed up on me! I was mad!
First of all...Welcome! Were glad you found us here. You will find a world of support.
I had many of the same thoughts you are having now. Your not alone there. My now x-A cheated on me as well, I know the pain your feeling. I think they run to someone else when they see us standing our ground with them. Keep that in mind...what I use to tell myself is that boy, I'm glad "she" can put up with him and not me. It is true, you really wish you could make them aware of how badly they have hurt you. I know that feeling as well. If they ever do feel it? I still have yet to figure that out.
Another important thing to remember is that your basically dealing with the mind of a child. They say that a person stops devolping emotionally from the first times they started drinking. That explains how emotionally "not there" they seem to be.
Your not alone...it took me a long time to leave my A finally, we were together 9 years. We also have a child together. It was the best thing I ever did. You will do what is right whatever that is, when the time is right.
Hang in there and keep coming back here!
Love ya!