Yes, get to the alanon meeting. You need support, right now--the face to face kind.
There is pleanty of light at the end of the tunnel--it is understandable that you feel overwhelmed and just can't see it, just yet. But--you will.
He is an alcoholic who is thinking l ike one and acting like one. As Sugarbear said--he is self centered and self loathing. And they will do anything to beat us over the head just to take the responsibility and focus off of their drinking. Likely, he feels that without you he can drink without so much hassle.
A word of caution--don't get lulled into complacency by a few sweet words---he will likely try that before it is over. He doesn't sound like he is ready to get sober--thus, NOTHING will change. It will get only worse. Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
Take care of yourself and do what you need to do for yourself and your son. Don't worry about him--he has the booze to keep him warm. (and his mother).
dandylion