Hi Rochele. Welcome back.
You seem to be struggling...not sure if you want to stop....need a reward...
Thank you for sharing your thoughts right now so honestly.
There are physical and tangible rewards you can set for yourself, but the reality is, what do you want to achieve?
I think it's the thought of forever and society's acceptance of drinking that put additional pressures on us.
Maybe you could take it to its simplest form. You don't like drinking anymore and today you want to be the healthiest you possible. You say you are eating healthy, now seems like a good time to cut out the unnecessary calories of alcohol and the terrible sleep disturbances it gives you. To be honest...if you aren't sleeping properly, then your body isn't renewing itself properly anyway, so eating healthy is kind of being cancelled out by drinking. Not to mention interfering with your absorption of food.