Thanks
Thank you for your input. I have called about Al-Anon meetings, and will be attending one tomorrow.
As far as calling him, I guess I want him to acknowledge how deeply he has hurt me. I guess I want him to stop cheating on me, stop drinking, etc. I guess I want to control something that is way out of my hands, and I am not accepting that.
I know he is seeing her again tonight and it really hurts me. I had hoped so much that he would opt for recovery, and that when he became aware that I knew what was going on, he would give her up. Logically, I know that's not going to happen, emotionally, it is some of the deepest pain I have ever felt. I want to get away from this pain. To not have to feel it anymore. I think he is happy that I am hurting so deeply over this.
Because I am used to fixing and taking care of others, I am having a very hard time staying focused on the concept of taking care of me.
From the sounds of things, Al-Anon can help me with that.