And, see, look what has been responded to me: There is always a chance that it's part of the cycle of abuse or him acting nice to make up for something stupid he did that has yet to be revealed to us, etc or there's the other side like Hammer said where I should be thanking God for the positive change.
I waffle between the two. It's hard to know when or if you should start taking a wall or two down, if you can let down your guard and trust your gut. Honestly, it feels different right now. I know, I know, it sounds cliche or like I'm living on a different planet here but really he does seem more aware of his actions and behaviors and he's been an active participant in the family for the past 3-4 weeks now. It's been one of the longest stretches of positive I've seen for quite some time.
I don't hang on to snarky comments or sarcastic crud anymore. I am feeling so much more confident in how I perceive and feel about his attitudes and behaviors so part of the positive here is also that I'm not engaging. I walk away, I disengage, I don't argue when he wants to be right and some of that diffuses things to a point where we get more centered in our conversations. If I don't latch on to always being right (even when I know I am, LOL), then the conversation goes nowhere and I can change topics or leave the room in peace. Maybe some of this is getting through to him and he's choosing to change with it, too?
Or, maybe I'm just blowing smoke up my own as*??? As Florence said, I really just have to wait, there is no time frame here and I have every right to keep working on my program and letting him do whatever it is he chooses to do whenever he chooses to do it!