Hi Debra and welcome
You are doing the best thing you can for yourself by going to a meeting. You will learn how to look after you and your needs and how to work the 12-step program that can save your life - I know it saved mine.
I agree with JT that you have to decide how to control your finances and his access to them. And only you can decide whether you choose to stay or go. The program will help you get balanced enough to make that decision with confidence and strength.
My prayers are with you.