As I was working out at the gym this morning I realized that today marks 4 months of sobriety for me. I then started to recall how my life has changed in the past 4 months:
4 months ago today instead of maintaining a nice cardio heart rate on the elliptical machine, I was frantically thinking of reasons to send my husband upstairs (oh hon...I forgot my my shoes...can you grab them for me?) so I could sneak a sip from my glass in the cabinet.
4 months ago today I was logging into my bank account to see if I bounced any checks before payday and how much I had been in the red before our direct deposit. This morning, our bills are paid, and have extra for a trip to the outlets for back to school shopping.
4 months ago today I kissed my 6 year old on the top of the head before leaving for work so she wouldn't smell my boozy breath, and this morning I kissed her face all over before leaving, with only the worry of her complaining of my coffee breath.
4 months ago today I was 35 pounds heavier, and this morning I slipped into a pair of pants with ease that I couldn't get on before.
4 months ago today I was planning my Friday stop at the bar at work which would leave me later racing home to get there so hubby could leave for work and worrying he would be late and get in trouble. This morning I am looking forward to picking up my daughter after work and stopping at the farm stand for some fresh tomatoes (she eats tomatoes like apples), then off to dinner and shopping at the mall.
Words can't describe how much happier I have become since quitting alcohol. I heard someone say the other day a line that has stuck with me: "I was no longer consuming alcohol, alcohol was consuming me". That is so true, because 4 months ago today...alcohol consumed my every waking moment, either actively drinking it, or mentally planning how I could drink it.
I am proud to say that in the last 4 months, bit by bit, I am taking my life back!
Thanks to all here at SR that have been so helpful!! This place has been a lifeline for me.
