Joy I hope you can hang in there. I found out that it didn't matter what I did or didn't like or want as we need to accept certain things. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and is controlled simply by NOT drinking one day at a time without all the BS we convince ourselves of. If needed whether we like it or not a detox MAY BE needed for our own safety as this substance is in no way a health drink and destroys body tissues. A very important thing is getting honest about our drinking as we have a very strong tendency to lie to ourselves and our drinking, like it wasn't that bad, I'll only have 1, I'll only have one at dinner and on and on. There is a lot of help on these pages for those willing to get sober for themselves. BE WELL