I have been sober since June 30. I still think about the day that I can drink in moderation, but I know that day will never come. Each time I think about that, the follow-up thought is playing that choice out to the end, and I refuse to give up the person I am today.
I am not happy all the time, but I am me. Every day is not a struggle, but every day is not easy either - I make the choice on a daily basis that I will be sober today, and it's a choice I make with my husband's kegs of homebrew sitting in the barn fridge, the bottles of liquor sitting in the barn attic. But the presence of alcohol does not rule my choice - I remain sober. I remain sober while others around me drink my favorite wine or indulge in my favorite cocktail. The poison that controlled me doesn't have to enter my body - I choose to say no, and each morning, my body thanks me. My mind curses me when I am feeling low, but it thanks me later when I deal with life as it comes with a clear head rather than escaping to nowhereland with booze.
I am me!! And I want to be me!
