Originally Posted by
regeneration 
I don't know what to do about this anymore but it's all getting to me. I have 2 very close friends, I said to one of them that I think I need to go to CODA or ACOA meetings. She told me that as my father died when I was 9 I wasn't brought up in an alcoholic household and that I should ignore my family and not talk about my childhood etc as it's dragging me down
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! This "get over it and move on" stuff is typical Those People (pointing out window) talk.
I don't go to AA, but they don't deal with ACOA issues very well, because they generally consider it "avoiding responsibility" and "blaming someone else for your problems," which is hogwash. So what happens? My ACOA meeting gets overrun by AA guys who are finally overwhelmed with their ACOA issues, AA refuses to deal with them, and they swamp the ACOA meeting to where it's basically an AA meeting. But I digress.
Definitely go to ACOA and look for a sponsor. The yellow workbook is great -- very intense, not something to do on your own, but well worth it.
Good luck!
T