Thanks everyone, Im not sure of a plan exactly, my first change is going to be not socialising in the afternoons/evenings until I gain some strength and clarity. I'm going to keep the evenings as a special, quiet and sacred time with a strict routine for the children. I am starting counselling for depression and anxiety and will make the effort to exercise every day. I will spend 30 minutes on sober recovery a day and work on friendships with people who don't need to be drunk and stoned all the time. And I won't let a drop past my lips! This is where I want to start for the first few months Dee, any advice? I can say that I have wanted to quit drinking for a long time and have consciously cut down and watched my consumption and the damage for sometime now, but Im at rock bottom emotionally and that desperation is driving me to change.