ATG -
First let me welcome you to the forum. Second, let me tell you that you are not alone, there are several women here on the boards, that are going through or have gone through what you are.
Have you considered Alanon? I am an A in recovery and 12 step meetings played a part in saving my life. The support of the group is amazing. Please consider it if you have not already.
Do not let someone rule you by guilt, take it from an A, that is our main sourse of maniupulation.
Take care of yourself and keep posting. More people will be along soon to guide you on the path they have already taken.