There are lots of red flags popping up in how you have described your partner's behavior and it does not sound like you are imagining a problem already exists or clearly is developing.
Only your partner can make a change for himself and only you can make a change for yourself, jazzfish asks an important question "is this the kind of relationship you want?"
and it seems your partner is balking at your disapproval with his behavior and his frightening hangovers are not enough for him to recognize something ain't right and you need to take of you.
Soulfully
"The pains you feel are messengers listen to them"
- Rumi